Defining Your Reality

By: John Steuernol

My background is what you might call ‘unique’ and includes time spent as a soldier, a miner, an ordained minister, a sales professional, a master hypnotist and now a coach. That covers a lot of behavioral ground, and gives me a great perspective on human nature. I’ve seen people at their very best, and absolute worst.

A few years ago, I called myself a ‘sales coach’, but now often find myself using the term ‘mind coach’. I’m not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, as a matter of fact I do not have a degree in anything. I do however have a tremendous curiosity in a lot of things and have been working on what I like to call my Personal PHD. In addition to working to understand all there is to understand about professional sales (a 35 year journey), I have also studied theology, hypnosis, neurolinguistic programming, behaviour analysis, communication, psychoneuroimmunology, quantum physics, consciousness theory, and now clinical kinesiology.

My curiosity has been, and continues to be one of my greatest allies and has afforded me a wonderful education. It has lead me to understand, that even though each of those subjects is a stand alone study unto itself, these themes are all connected, because in fact everything is connected.

I have maintained for many years now, that our business is 85% psychology and a little bit of math. What goes on in our mind, matters and we will define our success and reality by that stream of consciousness coursing between our two ears. Our day to day thoughts define our success in profound ways.

Bob Proctor, someone who has been involved with creating high performance environments for over three decades has a favorite expression which goes like this: “Millions of people get things every day they do not want but expect.”

When my mind is focused on negativity in the market place, I’m sure to find lots of it. If I think the management team has flaws, I’ll find them. If I think cold calling is difficult, a waste of time or unprofessional in some way, I will always find evidence to support my thought. If I think people are unfriendly, I’ll find lots of unfriendly people, and if I think there are lots of wonderful people, that will also be my experience. We literally create our reality by those things we think about and focus on daily.

Recently, I had a conversation with an investment advisor in the lobby of the Royal Bank Plaza South Tower. I have only know this person casually and wasn’t sure whey he decided to engage me in conversation, but he did.

    He says: “Is anyone doing much cold calling these days?”

    My response: “ Lots of people.”

    To which he responds: “ People don’t respond well to cold callers.”

    I say: “ ha, ha.” (By the way, this is not an agreement on my part, merely an acknowledgement of his point of view.”)

    He goes on to say: “ I don’t know why anyone would waste their time cold calling.”

    Me: “ Ha, ha.”

    Him: “ People just don’t trust cold callers.”

Of course by this time I really want to tell him what I feel, but I know becoming argumentative is not beneficial, so I go on to say: “ I have at least one rookie advisor tell me every single week (I say this with lots of emphasize) about a million dollar opportunity they have come across with cold calling. I know many people for whom it is working.”

To which he responds: “ I don’t know why anyone would ever respond to a cold caller; people just don’t trust us.”

I then gave him the names of 5 people in downtown Toronto, some new and some older who have built or are building great business through cold calling, and then he gives me a bunch of yes, buts; which is code for: “ I don’t care what you are saying, this is not my reality.”

I know the fruitlessness of carrying on a conversation of this nature, and by this point I’m looking for a polite way to head off to the food court so I do not have to listen to more, ‘yes, buts”.

But before I go I asked one question: “ Have you ever tried cold calling?”

To which he responds: “Absolutely not, what a waste of time,” and then adds; “ we get some referrals, once in awhile”.

Here is a typical example of someone who has defined his reality around prospecting that says in essence: 1) cold calling is a waste of time; 2) cold calling is unprofessional;, 3) clients don’t trust us; and, 4) I don’t really have a well defined system for getting business (I get referrals sometimes). His, is a world of scarcity and limitation; how unfortunate!

William James, the father of American psychology said: “ We define our success by the person we are becoming.”

What has this person become? He has become another of those advisors who has lost faith in himself, lost faith in a process, and probably would not see opportunity if it were starring him in the face.

This person has shackled the growth of his business, all because of his attitude.

Compare the former attitude with the attitude I come across with those who are achieving greatness in our business:

  • A) I know I have something of value to offer my clients
  • B) I know a lot of people are presently not being well served by their current advisor
  • C) I know a lot of clients really need help
  • D) I know that if I reach out to enough people every single day I will find those who will benefit from what I do
  • E) I know that this is a numbers game because some people are not ready to speak to me today
  • F) I know that there is someone out there right now that I could help in a tremendous way if we were to have a conversation
  • G) I know that some people are not inclined on an initial approach to reveal what’s truly on their mind, and so I need to develop a technique that is simple, respectful and straightforward so I may ultimately build a bridge of trust
  • H) I know that to build a great business I only need to find 1-2 prospects each and very day
  • I) I know that I only need 20-30 people in the next 12 months to say yes to me to build a successful business
  • J) I know the buck stops with me and that my attitude will define both the height of my success or the depth of my failure

I have an abundance mentality. I see opportunity everywhere and I know I’m good at what I do. I also know that many people would benefit from what I do, and all I need to do is dedicate a little quality time, each and every day to the business of ‘fetch and find’, and then I’ll find as much business as I want or need.

Think abundance, stop with the excuses, and take your successes to new heights.

Remember, you will literally become your thoughts! What are you thinking right now?

All the best,

John Steuernol
Your ‘At The Moment Coach’
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